blog redux: The Un-Popped Kernel
In front of me sits the latest publication of ‘Teach yourself Linux’. Frankly, it could just as easily be called “Teach yourself to grow a prostate” because I seriously doubt my ability to understand any operating system that doesn’t feature pretty boxes in preset positions to let me know where I’m storing my U2 albums.
Truth is, I read the first two chapters a while back At the beginning, I thought I had the whole thing under control. I had phrases like “The Kernel” and “Command Language Interpreter” highlighted in yellow, so I could memorize their meanings. I think I was under the odd impression that one day I’d be at a party with a bunch of programmers and the words would slip off my tongue like poetry. Everyone would gasp in awe and hopefully someone would buy me a drink.
Anyway, for the first thirty pages, I didn’t have the urge to throw the book across the room, curl up in the fetal position and rock myself into a coma of computer oblivion. I took this as a good sign. Of course, the first thirty pages were also full of big bold headlines and simple diagrams - drugs that lull a reader in a false-sense of confidence. Then it started: The italics. The slashes. The enormous pile of acronyms that sound like the names of covert-ops teams from James Bond movies (“We must move fast, Bond. SuSE is about to infiltrate the underwater fortress made out of gold!“.)
Needless the say, my tech-fuelled ego was rapidly deflated. I remembered that I was just a lowly copywriter that had never really done anything on the computer except the usual email and spell check.
The book found a place on my bedside table next to my journal that hasn’t been written in for months. The shiny little penguin on the front has now been dulled with dust. For now, the big bold words “Gain Proficiency and Understanding” don’t sway me into excited anticipation when I reach over to turn off my alarm in the morning. Perhaps one day though, when the pretty boxes become too pedestrian, I’ll seek brighter pastures. Who knows, maybe the grass is greener on the other side, even if to get to it, you have to take a few extra steps. Or a few extra highlighters.